


A Chance At A Second Chance

by lita



Series: Second Chances [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Angst, Drama, F/M, Family, Gen, Supernatural Elements, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-02-17 11:42:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2308412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lita/pseuds/lita
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if your loved one came back to life but without any memory of the past? Is that better for you or for the person? Will you give the person a new chance for happiness without you in it? Rumple and Neal, Neal and Henry, Rumple and Henry, the Charmings, & Past Swanfire. Not a traditional fairy tale happy ending story.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Resurrection

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the awesome RainMirror for betaing this chapter for me!

She got a call from the hospital. The dwarves had found someone unconscious in the forest. They didn't want to divulge more details. They just asked her to go to the hospital ASAP.

It had been a slow day which was unusual given that Storybrooke seemed to be visited by villains with magical powers one after another. She got really sick of finding out that all these villains had somehow been related to Henry. She would kill to have a normal thug who got arrested just for breaking and entering or more mundane crimes like graffiti.

When she arrived at the hospital, Dr. Whale gave the report that after thorough checkup the patient was not a victim of assault or any violence. He was just simply too exhausted and also suffered a bit from malnutrition and dehydration.

"Do you have any other information about the patient?" she asked.

Whale looked everywhere else but at her. "I think it's best for you to see for yourself."

_That's not suspicious at all._ She opened the door and her heart went to her throat. "Neal…"

* * *

He floated in the white bright light. He had never felt so peaceful before. He didn't really remember who he was anymore but in this place, it really didn't matter.

Suddenly a very beautiful woman, no, a goddess, his mind corrected, materialized in front of him. She was in an Egyptian costume (how he knew it was Egyptian, he didn't know) with an eight-pointed star emblazoned at the front of her costume.

"Who are you?"

"My child, my name is not important as you won't remember it when you wake up."

"Am I dreaming? I thought I was dead."

"Yes and yes. I've observed you since you made a deal with your father which he couldn't fulfill. Such a brave and pure soul, so much misfortune. So willing to sacrifice yourself for love which is a quality I value most. I'll resurrect you and give you the chances you were denied from being cut short before your time."

"I'm sorry if I don't sound grateful. I somehow remember that dead is dead."

She smiled. "Not when you're the goddess of love and resurrection, among other things. Now drink this Water of Life."

"I'm happy here. I don't really need to be resurrected."

She put down the cup by teleporting it out of her hand. He felt the warmth of her hands when she stroked both sides of his face maternally. "So selfless and naïve." He was a bit offended by the latter part but he let it slide as he thought it was not wise to argue with the goddess of love, resurrection, etc. "Don't you want a second chance? You died before your time. You deserve more happiness on earth before coming back here."

He picked the cup up. "Does it have a price? All magic comes with a price."

"No, it's a freebie. However, I do give you a condition for your own good. You will return to life with all your personalities, skills, and other things that make you unique intact. But you will be wiped out of all your past memories. Believe me, with so much you've gone through, you're better off without them."

"Do I have a choice?"

"Well, either that or spend an eternity here without knowing what you could've been if you were alive."

"I'll take it." He drank the cup in one gulp.

He felt drowsier and his body got heavier. He lay at the nearby bench which was not there before. Before he passed out, he heard the goddess say, "Be happy, Baelfire. Live and don't dwell on the past. And don't come back here too soon."


	2. The Stiltskins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Neal was awake. But would life ever be the same?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the awesome RainMirror to beta chapter for me!
> 
> Thanks also for the people who followed and gave kudos.
> 
> Warning: Some language

Rumpelstiltskin observed his son sleeping. He looked so peaceful and well rested, without any sign of nightmares. He just got the call from the sheriff. At first he thought it was a very ill-mannered prank but Ms. Swan assured him it was not. Belle said she would come but he said he needed to be sure first.

Emma barked into the room as usual. "Gold, I thought dead is dead."

"Good day to you too, Ms. Swan! I thought so too but apparently there were too many times deaths were cheated around her, except for Bae's. I wouldn't want to look a gift horse in the mouth. Would you rather see him stay dead?"

To his satisfaction, she looked chastised. "Of course not."

"Are you sure? You moved on awfully fast with that pirate just days after his death."

She looked offended. "Who I choose to love and spend time with is my own decision. You have nothing to say in that."

"It's a shame as I thought you and Bae were a match made in heaven, being the savior and the reason for the curse. It was fate, destiny, and dare I say true love as proven by the swan pendant. And he truly loved you until his dying breath."

She put down her head. "I really don't want to talk about this. How if we take it slow and see how it goes when he is awake? I hope there aren't any side effects to this sudden resurrection."

She had a point. He really hoped for Bae's sake that there would be no ill effects. He had suffered enough. "Fine by me."

"If there are any changes, please inform me. I mean it, Gold. We may not be together anymore but I still care for him."

He was touched by her sincerity despite her terseness. After she left, he pulled down a chair and sat next to his son. "Welcome back, Bae." He kissed his son's forehead and for good measures both of his hands. He then used both hands to hold the younger man's hand.

* * *

He opened his eyes and looked at a white ceiling. _Where am I?_ He then noticed the IV and his hospital gown. _In the hospital. But I_ _feel_ _fine, never felt better since…_ He tried to think of the last time he felt this good but it was strange that he couldn't remember.

He noticed a middle-aged man in a suit fast asleep on a chair with his head leaning on his bed. The man was holding his hand. He suddenly felt very thirsty. He moved the man's hand slowly to reach for a glass of water next to his bed.

The man was awoken by his movement.

"Bae, you're awake. How are you feeling?"

"Remarkably fine, considering. What happened to me? Was I in an accident? I don't remember anything."

The man looked hesitant. "Sort of. I'll explain more when you're better. Do you need anything?"

"Just that water." The man gave the glass to him. Upon receiving it, he thanked him.

"Do you need anything else?"

"No, not really. Did you just call me Bae?" He tried to think of his own name but he really couldn't recall. It was supposed to be a cause for worry. Somehow the fact that he was not too worried about it made him question his sanity. _Perhaps I'm an escaped mental patient._

The man looked crushed."Don't you remember?"

"Well, it may sound crazy and maybe I am. However, since I opened my eyes, I can't remember anything. My name, my past, anything. Who are you?"

The man looked like he was about to burst into tears. "I'm Gold."

"Mr. Gold. That's a really good name. Were we really close?"

The man seemed completely dejected. "Yes, we were. I think you need to rest. I'll leave now and come back again later." He stood up and walked toward the door.

"Mr. Gold, is my name Bae?"

Mr. Gold looked hesitant. He spent an awfully lot of time thinking before he replied, "No, you just reminded me of him."

"What is my name then?"

Gold turned toward him from the door and replied, "Neal. Neal Cassidy." With that, he closed the door.

* * *

"Neal, do you really need to go?"

"I'm afraid I do, Henry. I don't want to impose on Mr. Gold too much."

"But he is…" He bit back the word your father. "But you worked for him so you sort of paid the rent."

"I think I owe him too much. My work's pay is nothing compared to the cost of my lodging. He also paid for my hospital bills. I want to stand on my own two feet."

"But he would miss you."

"I know. He treated me like his own son, Bae, who had just passed away recently. Poor guy. However, my life is in New York."

"My mom told you the address, didn't she? Aren't you worried to return to a big city like New York without your memory?" he asked accusingly.

"Yes, she did. In fact, I need to thank her. Everyone has been so welcoming but nobody told me anything about my past. Everybody clammed up when I asked them. I hope I wasn't a criminal or something before this."

"No, you were not. Far from it." He hugged his father. He kissed his right cheek then his left cheek, and for good measure, his forehead too. _Nothing happened. Well, it was worth a try_. "I'm going to miss you."

"Wow, buddy. A bit intense there." He ruffled his hair affectionately. "I'm going to miss you so much too. You could come and visit me in New York anytime. To answer your other question, no, I'm not afraid. I have the feelings that I'm used to living alone without anyone to rely on."

Hearing that his father often spent time alone, without realizing how true it was, had Henry's heart aching for his dad. Oh, how he really wanted to follow his dad. Emma was too busy with Killian. His adopted mom was busy with Robin Hood. His maternal grandparents were busy with their baby. Well, he could find Mr. Gold, but he didn't want to impose on his time with his new wife, Belle, too much. He burst out, "Can I come and live with you?"

"Oh, I wish you could. I need to get back to my old job first. Besides, you have two moms and grandparents too. I can't take you away from that. But as I said, you could visit me any time."

He felt dejected. If only he could tell Neal who he was to him. But all the adults prevented him. They said his memory should return naturally if it was meant to be. Don't force it. "OK."

"Don't be, sad. Let me buy you a hot chocolate. It's with cinnamon, isn't it?"

"Yes, it is." Despite not having his memory, he acted just like the old Neal.

They were sitting and chatting talking mostly about life in New York in Granny's. Out of the blue, Neal said, "I had the weirdest dream last night. I dreamed that we were playing with wooden swords in the park. It was funny because I don't think I ever played with a sword in my life. We must've spent so much time together that I dreamed about it."

Henry felt his heart clenched again. _So close yet so far_. "Yes, we must have. You know, we could try that."

"I think you're just saying that because you know you're going to kick my ass since I'm not experienced at all. That's fine. Whatever makes you happy but not so soon after eating. Otherwise your two moms are going to have my head on a pike."

Well, things were not so bad. Perhaps Mr. Gold or Emma could restore his memory eventually. No matter what happened, it was better to have his loving father alive, even without his memory, than to have a dead heroic father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -*Hide from Swanfire shippers* There is one more chapter to go to answer the questions about why Emma did what she did, the bonding between Rumpelstiltskin and Henry, plus what happened to Neal in the end. The reason why I write this story will be explained in the next chapter too.
> 
> -Please tell me what you think about this chapter.


	3. The Amnesiac Hero

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snow and Charming found Emma’s letter to Neal. Henry and Gold talked about Neal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to the awesome RainMirror to beta this chapter for me.
> 
> Warning: Plenty of angst.

"Charming, I found this letter when I tried to find our family album in Emma's drawer. It's an unsent letter to Neal."

"Do you know the word privacy, Snow?"

Snow had the decency to blush. "Well, I was just going through her drawers trying to find the album and this letter fell out."

Charming looked at his wife doubtfully. "Sure, out of all the articles in the drawer, it was this letter that just fell."

Snow waved her hands impatiently. "That is not the point. This letter seems well worn. It has been closed and opened many times. Why didn't she send it to Neal?"

"Have you met our daughter? Since when has she shared her feelings unless it's in a life and death situation? Besides, she is with Killian now and Neal doesn't remember they used to be together."

"Aren't you a bit curious what our daughter actually thinks? We don't really know her."

"Since you put it that way, yes, of course I want to know more about her. But reading her letter can only backfire so badly."

"We are her parents. We have the right to know."

Charming knew he couldn't really argue with Snow. "Don't say I didn't warn you."

They sat down and read the letter.

_"_ _Dear Neal,_

_I hope you are doing well. New York should be easier for you to adjust since you lived there for a few years._

_I miss your smile. I_ _miss_ _the way your eyes twinkled as you adored me and thought I was the best thing that ever happened to you. Perhaps I was, wasn't I? I_ _miss_ _your terrible jokes. Now you just treat me like any other woman. That is not a bad thing since you were always a gentleman. You just think of me as the sheriff of this town and that_ _is_ _it. I miss our old time interaction._

_I know it's selfish of me to expect you_ _to_ _still be in love with me when you couldn't even remember your own name. Besides, I chose to be with Killian and it would be unfair for you if you still yearn for me. That doesn't help the feelings that you should have remembered me._

_I know that could partially be my fault. I never tried to do anything like true love's kiss or something else to make you remember. I know the necklace proves that we were true loves. It saddened me that looking at the swan pendant didn't_ _evoke_ _any reaction from you. But you didn't really have the chance to look at the pendant as I know I tried to avoid you as much as possible._

_I'm so sorry for being so selfish. I wanted to move on and didn't want to be reminded of the past. I'm so sorry, Neal. I know you would always fight for my happiness too. You have proved again and again that you meant it. I wish I could do the same for you. You_ _deserve_ _someone who would do it for you. I didn't fight for your happiness._

_I was hurt too much when you left me_ _so_ _many times. I know you can't help it but you_ _repeatedly_ _dying on me_ _was_ _really too much._

_Being with Killian is easy. He is just there. Being with you takes more work. I know you are willing to put_ _in_ _the work. You've proven time and again that you want me and Henry to be happy even_ _if_ _we are only friends. Killian is different. He won't be happy without me._

_I didn't even attempt to be your friend so naturally you would think of me as a total stranger. But it's too much effort for me. I'd rather let you go. I know it's very selfish of me and unfair to you. We had so much fun together. I know if you_ _could_ _remember, we could be friends. I really miss that despite me being with Killian. As I've said before, I was selfish._

_I also felt ashamed that I had the chance to revive you when I travelled to the past but I stopped your father_ _from doing_ _so. I know I'm not a very good savior since I can't even save the man I love. I also_ _robbed_ _your father_ _of_ _the chance to be with you and Henry to be with his father. You_ _have_ _actually_ _done_ _more saving than me since you came to Storybrooke but of course with your luck, you don't even remember that._

_I haven't even thanked you for saving me at the portal. Instead the next time I saw you, I told you I wished you were dead so I didn't need to confront my feelings. I know you understood me but I felt so awful. If that was not enough, I didn't even give you chance to talk after coming back from Neverland as I was stubborn. When I tried to, it was too late as Pan's curse started to happen. Again_ _when_ _awful fate intervened, the next time I saw you was your dying day. I didn't even let you see Henry. I still hadn't expressed my appreciation and gratitude until your dying breath to save all of us. I also_ _haven't_ _thanked you for sending the memory potion. Now I can't even mention any of that to you without sounding like a lunatic._

_I'm so sorry, Neal. I hope you find your happy ending elsewhere. You deserve it so much. I hope you find someone else to make you happier than you were with me. As you said to me once, go find Tallahassee with someone else. I now return the favor."_

Snow wiped her tears. "Oh, Charming, I don't think our daughter realized what she had done. She still has feelings for Neal but she doesn't want to admit it."

Charming said, "I guess she needs to learn to listen to her heart and not feel scared. It's also unfair for Neal if she leads him on without returning his feelings. I guess now it's better off for Neal as he doesn't remember. Emma also has Killian now and we don't want to complicate matters."

"But what about Emma? Neal is her true love but she didn't try to savor it. She still remembers him so it's more painful for her."

"There is really nothing we can do. We just need to be supportive of her. We could nudge her to follow her true feelings but it's best if she realizes it herself."

"Oh Charming. What a mess we are in."

"I know, honey. But feelings are really hard to handle. She needs to learn from her own mistakes. As long as we are there for her, we should be fine in the long run."

* * *

"Why did mom mention New York to him? He could have stayed here," Henry asked his grandfather angrily. Henry helped at the pawn shop now when he had some free time.

"I think your mom is too afraid to face her feelings. She would rather be with that pirate as it was easy rather than working it out with your dad. Just look at it this way, how many times has your dad been dying and in danger when he was here? He might be safer staying in New York."

"But I'm sure he would choose his family every time even in danger."

"I know that. But what else can we do? We have tried true love kisses to revive his memory but it didn't work. Did you know that I used to sneak into Bae's bedroom when he slept to kiss him but it didn't work? But I kept trying."

"I tried that too although I could only do so much before he got suspicious. Only Emma hasn't tried. Why didn't she try?"

"As I said, she would rather run away from her feelings rather than facing them. Bae used to be the same but he got better. Then of course he died then came back alive but lost his memory." He shook his head sadly. "I wish things were different, but there is nothing we can do. Besides the true love kiss may not work. It doesn't seem to be a curse."

"But they are true loves. I wish they could be together."

"Yes, as much as that's true, there is really nothing we can do. Perhaps she could accept him in the future. Perhaps they could work it out when your mom doesn't run away from her feelings."

"What about mom? Is she happier without him?"

"I don't know Henry. Your father truly loved her with all his heart and soul. He was even willing to die for her time and again. However, what did he get in the end? Emma made her choice. I'm not sure whether she chose the right thing. Please forgive me if I care more about my son than her. I want him to be happy even without any memory of us. Perhaps being in New York is better for him. He was in constant danger in the short time he was in Storybrooke. Perhaps a complete new start is what he needs."

"So we are letting him go."

"In a sense, yes." He thought grimly of him dropping Bae to the portal." He continued, "But he will always be in our hearts. We want him to be alive and happy more than being dead, don't we?"

"But dad will be alone in New York."

"I know, Henry. It pained me greatly that he couldn't remember us. But he has died for us. Even when we were in the cage, he told me in his mind that he would rather die so that my mind would be quiet. He had done everything he could for us. I feel ashamed that I couldn't do anything back for him, even to revive him. As long as he is happy now, it doesn't matter."

"But he doesn't even know he is a hero."

"Indeed. It's a shame as he had always been a hero ever since he was a kid. He has always been a better man. Look at it this way, he doesn't have the nightmares, the trauma of falling through portals, the memories of Neverland, and dying and being in the body of his father for the last year anymore."

"But he doesn't remember us either. We are his family. You said that having memories, good or bad, is important as it shapes our personality. I don't think he completely lost all memory. He told me he dreamed about us sword fighting in the park. He also dreamed about teaching me navigation skills. But of course he thought they were all dreams."

"I remember what I said. He also told me some dream about holding my hand when I was dying in my shop but he thought that was absurd. He thought he had spent too much time watching movies. How I wish he could remember. However, despite not remembering his past, he still retained his own personality so it's a unique case. He seems to be very fond of you. He even invited you to come along to New York to visit him anytime."

"Did he invite you as well?"

"Yes, he did."

"Then we can go together."

"Sure, Henry. I'd like that. Who knows? Perhaps we could find a way to revive his memory later. I'll try my best. Or perhaps your mom will come to her senses. We will just try our best to make him happy and remind him that he always has us."

* * *

Neal woke up late and saw the clock pointed at 8:15. He was about to get up in a hurry then realized that it was his day off. So that was the reason why he didn't turn on the alarm clock in the first place.

He looked up at the window and saw the broken dreamcatcher. He didn't know how he had gotten this item but looking at it always made him smile.

He was thankful that his old boss was understanding even though he didn't have his old memory and he had been missing for more than a year. He could get back to work straight away.

It was near Christmas. Henry and Mr. Gold along with Belle would come to visit him. Although he didn't have any family, they treated him like a family and he was thankful for that.

Lately he had also managed to make some new friends so it was not all bad. He only wished he could remember his past. He had tried some alternatives, even hypnotism, but somehow it always drew a blank. It was as if someone wanted him to not remember on purpose.

He turned on the radio and heard "Charley's Girl" being played. Although he still didn't remember about his past, he somehow felt that he had always been fond of this song. He smiled and prepared for breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I wrote this because I was annoyed that everyone seemed to forget Neal existed even when he died for them. So this is just sort of a wish fulfillment. I wanted him to come back to life and also be happy.
> 
> -I left it sort of open ended. Since some readers from fanfiction.net requests for a sequel, I have written a Swanfire sequel at http://archiveofourown.org/works/3062012. Thanks to The_Dark_One_Rising for suggesting I advertise the sequel here.

**Author's Note:**

> -I know the description of afterlife and the goddess is a bit wonky but that's not really the focus of this story.
> 
> -I meant it to be one shot but I think it may work better as two or three-shots. Please tell me what you think.


End file.
